Day Three: Ditch The Crowbar

What do you do when you have scheduled your excercise for first thing in the morning and you over sleep?

What do you do when you wake up, late, and you realize there is not another chunk in your day that you can use to exercise?

What if you admit to yourself, “Well, I could exercise when I get home at around….11pm?”

What if you do work out at 11pm?

What if you now can’t get to bed until 2am?

What if the only period of time that you have to exercise tomorrow is first thing in the morning?

What do you do when you have scheduled your exercise for first thing in the morning and you over sleep?

lambchop
“This is the shit that never endsssssssssssssssss….yes, it goes on and on my friendsssssssssssss……”
Yes. This will go on and on my friends. For the rest of my life. So I suppose the most important question is…
What do you do to make exercise, something that you have discovered is totally pertinent to your living a better life, fit smoothly into your busy schedule?
Well, I firmly believe that unless you…
A) …were raised in a household that emphasized personal fitness which made exercise a part of your every day life since as long as your tone ass could remember.
B) …have the freedom to structure your own work days. Lucky bitch.
C) …have incredible self-discipline. Lucky bitch.
D) … posses any of the above qualities or privileges….
…that you will constantly find yourself crowbarring exercise in between all of your other modern day responsibilities.
Human beings need exercise to function properly. But we are supposed to be getting our exercise from just being alive. All of the modern comforts we have created for ourselves completely take away all of the time we would normally be active. We would get much more frequent cardiovascular workouts hunting and gathering our food than hunting down a restaurant and gathering for an incredible multi-course meal. That someone else cooked.
We have put these obstacles in our own way. We want to have our cake made for us, brought to us, and then we want to eat it too.
Now, when I typed “how do I fit exerc-,” Google not only finished my sentence for me but it also gave me over 55 million different results. That’s telling.
I read the first 10 of 55,000,000 and they, of course, basically give you the same suggestions:
dog stairs
Take The Stairs! 
Great. Thanks. Have you been to New York City? The land of perpetual stair climbing?
crazy-kid
Workout With Your Kids! 
Turn the time that is supposed to be about bonding with your children into YOU time.

sdsd

Workout With Your Spouse!
Yay. More time with the person you are contractually tied to until you die. Also, if you are single and childless, apparently you have no fucking excuse.
eating while working out
Workout On Your Lunch Break! 
NO FOOD OR REST! That’s what you get for not getting your ass out of bed on time.
sweat
Go For A Brisk Walk A Few Times During Your Work Day!
Hey…uh….Jim? Why do you keep leaving and returning all sweaty and out of breath….?
workout at desk
Work Out At Your Desk!
You fucking weirdo…..
Basically, they are just giving you suggestions on how to use your crowbar. And they want you to use that crowbar to beat the hell out of yourself, your loved ones, and any semblance of free time.
But seeing as this is a blog about my quest for happiness and the idea of all of those things makes me incredibly unhappy, I need to find a compromise.
Addendum to Rule #2: Sweat
First off, no more hitting “Snooze.” The sleep isn’t even that great. I generally have a stress dream or get a tension headache from trying to keep my eyes closed. I know you like to run outside. I know it is in the middle of winter. I know it is pitch black and freezing when you wake up.  But it is always darkest before the dawn. And getting your work out before the dawn of the sun means you don’t have to give it a second thought. And you are trying to avoid second thoughts, remember?
Second, if I find myself accidentally sleeping through my designated work out time, I will forgive myself and try to make it work another way. This doesn’t mean that I am going to forego my chair at work and squat for 8 hours. This means that I will try to work out after work. Or….you know…..brisk walking during my lunch break doesn’t sound TOO bad. Sounds better than being a lethargic office worker sitting on her ever widening ass.
Third, if I don’t make it out of bed in the morning  and I honestly make an attempt to fit it into my schedule to no avail…then I will just forgive myself. That’s it. 
Tomorrow will be another day.
Another day to have the same choices.
Another day to make better, stronger decisions.
And another day to forgive yourself all over again.
All I could want is another day.
Suggested Listening
“Something Good Can Work” by Two Door Cinema Club
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